


The Trouble With Wanting Is I Want You

by xLoveMx



Series: Jester&Essek's adventures in Sending [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, More Sexy Times, Oral Sex, Pining, Vaginal Sex, but also bringing the angst, jessek - Freeform, marion lavorre knows what's up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:53:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26355271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLoveMx/pseuds/xLoveMx
Summary: Bringing Essek here had seemed like a good idea just this morning, but now all of that seemed impossibly far away and Jester, wiping at her eyes as she followed him towards the stairs, had no idea what to do about it.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Essek Thelyss
Series: Jester&Essek's adventures in Sending [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797520
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	The Trouble With Wanting Is I Want You

**Author's Note:**

> 🎶Oh nooooooooo I think I'm catching feelings🎶

When Jester woke up it was still mostly dark outside. It took her a moment to blink herself awake, though she couldn’t quite shake off the sleepy feeling just yet. She needed a minute to remember where she was, too. The bed was familiar, but not the one she had slept in the previous nights.

Images of last night came flooding back to her then, teleporting back to Rosohna, the surprised look on Essek’s face when he had shown up the house to find her there, Essek laughing and calling her stubborn and incredible and Essek just...

“Essek.” Reaching out Jester found only the empty mattress next to her, and for a moment her heart sank. It wasn’t until she noticed a movement at the foot of the bed that she realized she wasn’t alone.

“Good morning, Darling,” He whispered, the amusement clearly audible in his voice and Jester shivered as his hand began tracing up her leg and inner thigh.

“I thought you were gone again,” She didn’t mean for it to come out sounding so vulnerable, but her voice was still a little hoarse from sleep and she instinctively wanted to reach for him to pull him close. She had always cared about Essek, but ever since they had started being intimate, she thought about having him around all time, not just for sex. Not that the sex was bad, by any means, but there was just something about the in betweens, like Essek going downstairs to make them some snacks so she didn’t have to move, or drawing a bath for her no matter the time, that set this apart from anything else Jester had ever experienced.

Of course she was aware that sex didn’t always have to mean anything other than just that, her mother had literally perfected that and was also getting paid for it, but with Essek things were more serious, or at least different than she had anticipated them to be, and Jester wasn’t quite sure how to deal with that.

“It’s still early,” Essek continued with a smile, and suddenly the hand on her thigh was replaced with his lips, and Jester shivered again. Everything was still warm and while awake, she still felt sleep cling to her just a little bit. Neither of them had put any clothes on when they had finally fallen asleep in her bed. They had briefly considered staying up on the roof, but it did get quite cold outside at night, and neither of them had wanted to go back upstairs after they had settled into bed.

There were hands sliding underneath her thighs now and Jester moaned as she felt his tongue pressing against her entrance. It was lazy and slow, but enough to eventually wake her up. Her hand came to tangle in his hair, and she made good use of the fact that there was no one around to hear them, and therefore no need to be quiet. She could hear Essek’s muffled moans against her, the vibrations sending a shiver down her spine.

It was slower than usual, but it was a pleasant fire being ignited in her stomach as her free had reached up to toy with her nipples, moaning in response to the overall stimulation. It was rare that they had an actual bed to wake up in, and even rarer not having to care about waking up anyone else around them.

“Essek...” His name was followed by a moan and when he eventually pulled back, Jester couldn’t help but whine. His response came as a chuckle before he kissed his way up over her stomach and collarbone, eventually claiming her lips. Jester could taste herself and moaned again, hips bucking up when Essek’s hand slipped between her legs.

“You look so lovely when you’re barely hanging on,” His voice was low and raspy and it was all it took to catapult her over the edge as he hands tangled in his hair to pull him in for another kiss, muffling the moans escaping her.

It took her a moment to come back to herself, but when she did Jester barely managed to keep Essek from pulling away. “Where do you think you’re going?” She mumbled, lips curved into a smile as she flipped them over, eyes finding his in the dark.

“You don’t have to...” He began but was cut off by a moan as Jester lifted her hips and sank down onto his hard cock almost effortlessly. It very nearly knocked the breath out of him when she began moving her hips then, his hands coming up to rest on her cheeks as he pulled her down for another kiss.

It didn’t take long to push him over the edge too, his head spinning with her name falling from his lips over and over again as Jester slipped a hand between her own legs, following suit. They were both panting by the time she had collapsed onto him, but the way her lips were curved into a smile made Essek’s heart miss a beat.

“So, are the others coming today or are you going back? Because I don’t know where we left most of our clothes and I’d rather not face any of them naked,” He chuckled, his fingers running circles over Jester’s back, leaving goosebumps behind.

“Oh, I don’t know. Wait, let me ask.” Jester pushed herself up ever so slightly, waving one hand in the air for a moment. _“Caaaay-leb? Are you guys coming? I picked up my...stuff. If not, I can come back. Essek will take me,”_

“Your stuff?” Essek asked, a small chuckle slipping past his lips as Jester swatted his shoulder.

“I told Caleb I needed to pick something up otherwise I’d have to pay more. I just...forgot what it was,” She then laughed, ears perking up ever so slightly as a response came through.

_“Good morning Jester. I think Veth wants to stay a little longer. Are you okay?”_

Rolling off Essek, she sat up in bed eventually, lips curved into a grin. _“Couldn’t be better. We will be there in a bit!”_ She sent off another message before turning her attention back to Essek with a nod. “Veth wants to stay for a little bit, if we leave in a bit, we’ll be there for breakfast. You can say hi to everyone, and maybe even meet my Mom!”

There was a laugh as she was pulled back down while Caleb’s response came through. _“Jester, it’s 4 in the morning,”_

-

They ended up going back to bed for a little bit after that, with sleep claiming them easily. Essek was warm and soft and just having his arms wrapped around her made Jester feel safe enough to instantly drift back to sleep. When they awoke the next time, the sun was already rising, beams of light streaming into the room.

They cleaned themselves up and got dressed, before Essek slipped his hand into Jester’s, mumbling the incantation that would transport them across the continent.

The warm Nicodranas air was a welcome change as they landed, and Jester kept her hand in his for just a moment longer. She was well aware that they would probably have to talk about this whole thing at some point, but she had no idea where it was going, and thinking about sitting down to talk made her stomach twist just a little, so she had chosen to ignore it for the time being.

The Lavish Chateau was still quiet, only a few of the staff wandering around the halls or getting breakfast. Caduceus was one of the few of their friends who was already downstairs, sipping on a cup of tea, his lips curving into a smile as he spotted them.

Essek’s hand had slipped out of Jester’s by then and she did her best to ignore the pang in her chest as she approached their friend. “Caduceus! Good Morning! Where is everybody?” Sliding into the seat next to him, Jester glanced around for a moment. “Are they making the cinnamon rolls today? Essek you really need to try them out!” She could tell that she was pulling her walls up, trying to cover up her conflicted feelings with happiness and excitement. A defense mechanism she had adopted pretty early in life, mainly so she wouldn’t be a burden to her mother.

“Well, it certainly did smell like pastries in there when I was making my tea,” Caduceus smiled, “As for the others: Beau dragged Fjord out for a run, Yasha and Veth I think are still asleep and Caleb went for a walk. Possibly to laugh at Fjord,” A small chuckle fell from his lips. “Essek, how have you been?”

Jester lost track of the conversation eventually, and after a while excused herself to go into the kitchen to get some breakfast. She could feel her stomach turning ever so slightly, but something was telling her that it wasn’t because she was hungry. When she stepped into the room the cook was rummaging around, giving her a nod as she entered, but Jester’s attention was captured by her mother, who was leaning against the counter dressed in her silk robe, a cup of coffee in hand.

“Good morning my little Sapphire,” Her smile was like a warm embrace and Jester instantly felt a little better. “I heard you brought a guest.”

Jester instinctively bit her lip, suddenly very interested in the pastries that had been set up on one of the nearby tables. “Hm.” Picking one up she stuffed half of it into her mouth, only finding her mother’s eyes again once she had swallowed it. “Essek, I’ve told you about him before. He was nice enough to bring me back here I had to...pick something up.” There were about a million other things Jester wanted to say, but she had no idea how to bring them up, or where to start, so she picked up another pastry instead.

Thankfully Marion didn’t seem to pry. “Well, bring him up to my room later, I would love to properly meet him,” And with that she put down the empty coffee cup, pressing a kiss to the top of Jester’s head in passing, leaving her daughter with an entire plate of pastries that would definitely be eaten in the next ten minutes.

-

Beau and Fjord eventually returned from their run, with Fjord slumping against Caduceus, followed by a long drawn out sigh. Jester could hear Luc running up and down the halls upstairs, accompanied by Nugget’s occasional bark, before Veth and Yeza joined them downstairs. They both seemed to glow just a little as they settled down for breakfast, smiling at each other, and Jester wondered how it felt like to be that in love. To just be able to stare at each other openly across the table, laughing as your knees bumped against each other and hands found themselves easily.

Sex, she had found, was easy, but relationships were a whole new level of complicated. She was able to say the filthiest things to Essek when the lights were out, but right now it was hard to even look at him. It was confusing, too, because she wanted to spend every waking minute with him, and at the same time being around him right now was almost agonizing. At one point she even had to sit on her hands to keep herself from reaching out to take his, mainly because it was a throwback to earlier, when he had let go of her hand the moment they had stepped into the Chateau and seen their friends.

“Anyway, like I was saying: If we’re staying another day then Fjord and I can run the big lap tomorrow,” Beau was grinning, which was accompanied by a moan from Fjord, who was still leaning against Caduceus, looking like he was regretting all of his life choices at the moment. Somehow even that didn’t manage to cheer Jester up though, so she turned her attention towards Luc, who looked like he was enjoying the pastries, with neither Yeza nor Veth seeming to restrict just how many he could have.

The rest of the day almost passed in a blur then, Essek had wandered off with Caleb to look over some spells, and Jester had to remind herself that he was their friend, and that she couldn’t be taking up all of his attention without it seeming suspicious. So instead she took Yasha up on her offer of going down to the beach, where Beau eventually joined them.

With the other two women splashing around in the water, Jester eventually turned her attention away though, because while she was happy that they seemed to be enjoying themselves, just watching them made her stomach twist again.

With a frustrated huff she waved her hands in the air for a moment, before sending off a message. _“Essek? Are you still here? You’re missing how amazing I look in my bikini,”_ It was easier to flirt and tease than to talk about actual feelings, because this was something she knew how to do, and Jester figured that, maybe, learning everything she knew about romance from smut novels hadn’t been the best thing that ever happened to her.

_“I know what you look like naked, Darling.”_ The response came promptly, and despite the confusion she was going through, Jester instantly shivered at the use of the nickname. _“I’ll be here until tomorrow, if you’ll have me,”_

She could feel her face heating up ever so slightly, a sigh falling from her lips as she settled down onto her back, one arm thrown over her eyes.

What had she gotten herself into?

-

By the time they had returned, the Chateau had come to life. Patrons were gathered at the bar or sitting on tables, waiting for Marion to make her grand entrance. She was singing tonight; another reason Jester was glad they had decided to stay for a little bit longer. Surely, it was easier to return to Nicodranas these days, but it was still always a treat to be around when her mother performed.

They had all planned to meet back up for dinner in a bit, so Jester had gone to change into a new dress, a short pink one that complimented her figure and also looked absolutely adorable. Most people had already gathered downstairs when she stepped out of her room, but only really made it a few steps towards the stairs. Suddenly there were fingers closing around her wrist, pulling her in and it took Jester a second to realize that Essek had stepped out of the shadows, one arm coming to wrap around her waist.

“Hello Darling,” His voice was smooth as his lips found her neck, barely touching skin, and Jester’s heart was beating wildly inside her chest.

“H-Hey,” Her voice was cracking just a little as she instinctively pressed herself closer, taking in the familiar scent and warmth radiating from his body. God, they had only been apart for a few hours and it was already driving her crazy.

_When did this happen?_ She wanted to ask, but words were failing her as his teeth grazed her earlobe, making her shiver yet again. Jester’s hands fisted into the fabric of his cloak as she pulled herself even closer, a sigh slipping from her lips as she could hear music beginning to play faintly from downstairs. “This is like...your only chance to hear my Mom sing with how busy you are...” She then whispered, “Honestly, you wouldn’t want to miss that for anything,”

There was a brief pause as Essek pulled back, his eyes meeting with hers, and Jester suddenly felt her chest tighten to the point where it was almost hard to breathe. “If you say so,” He then nodded, “Then I wouldn’t miss it for the world,”

There were a lot of things Jester wanted to say, but her throat seemed to have closed up and so she simply nodded in return as he pulled away, heading for the stairs to join the rest of their friends, while Jester stood in the dark for a moment, biting her lip and fighting the tears threatening to well up in her eyes.

“Oh no...” Bringing Essek here had seemed like a good idea just this morning, but now all of that seemed impossibly far away and Jester, wiping at her eyes as she followed him towards the stairs, had no idea what to do about it. 


End file.
